Grief and loss is an intrinsic part of my work, as throughout our lives we experience loss that is a part of living. No parent wants to lose a child, nor consider the possibility of a loss they have not even have had the chance to experience. Miscarriage and infertility are considered ambiguous grief, but in truth they are bereavement and loss of life. Families do not need to be carrying these burdens alone, without the support of their community.
Miscarriage and the loss of new life in infancy are topics that many couples and families deal with on a regular basis. So much so, that an awareness group was created in 1988 under Ronald Reagan which became the official date of October 15th each year called the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remberance Day (PAILRD). The Canadian Foundation for October 15th or CFO continues this tradition, and began in New Brunswick to honour PAILRD’s mission. Now every year on October 15th at 7:00 pm (19:00 h) candles are lit throughout North America to honour and remember these children and their families.
The Wee One
To share her experience of miscarriage and to help us all raise awareness of grief and loss, a special patient wrote her experience of her miscarriage called the Wee One so that we all may become more sensitive to those who have lost a child or pregnancy.
What to expect when you’re miscarrying. I could not be more honoured to have this on my blog, and I hope you will read her story and learn from her experience.
How you can be a support to your loved ones
Sometimes knowing what to say and how to be a comfort to a friend or family member who has lost during pregnancy or shortly following birth may be difficult, and perhaps you are afraid to say the wrong things? PILARI, or the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Research and Information Foundation, has wonderful resources to help you understand and the right things to say. Showing your non-judgmental love and support regardless is a wonderful first step.
Remember a few simple ones:
- Tell them you love them
- How can you be there
That’s pretty much it. They will heal as they know they are meant to.