What to expect with miscarriage

Light a candle for infancy and pregnancy loss October 15 with Dr. Aoife Earls ND

Grief and loss is an intrins­ic part of my work, as through­out our lives we exper­i­ence loss that is a part of liv­ing. No par­ent wants to lose a child, nor con­sider the pos­sib­il­ity of a loss they have not even have had the chance to exper­i­ence. Miscarriage and infer­til­ity are con­sidered ambigu­ous grief, but in truth they are bereave­ment and loss of life. Families do not need to be car­ry­ing these bur­dens alone, without the sup­port of their community.

Miscarriage and the loss of new life in infancy are top­ics that many couples and fam­il­ies deal with on a reg­u­lar basis. So much so, that an aware­ness group was cre­ated in 1988 under Ronald Reagan which became the offi­cial date of October 15th each year called the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remberance Day (PAILRD). The Canadian Foundation for October 15th or CFO con­tin­ues this tra­di­tion, and began in New Brunswick to hon­our PAILRD’s mis­sion. Now every year on October 15th at 7:00 pm (19:00 h) candles are lit through­out North America to hon­our and remem­ber these chil­dren and their families.

The Wee One

To share her exper­i­ence of mis­car­riage and to help us all raise aware­ness of grief and loss, a spe­cial patient wrote her exper­i­ence of her mis­car­riage called the Wee One so that we all may become more sens­it­ive to those who have lost a child or pregnancy. 

What to expect when you’re mis­car­ry­ing. I could not be more hon­oured to have this on my blog, and I hope you will read her story and learn from her experience.

How you can be a support to your loved ones

Sometimes know­ing what to say and how to be a com­fort to a friend or fam­ily mem­ber who has lost dur­ing preg­nancy or shortly fol­low­ing birth may be dif­fi­cult, and per­haps you are afraid to say the wrong things? PILARI, or the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Research and Information Foundation, has won­der­ful resources to help you under­stand and the right things to say. Showing your non-judg­ment­al love and sup­port regard­less is a won­der­ful first step. 

Remember a few simple ones:

  1. Tell them you love them
  2. How can you be there
  3. Listen

That’s pretty much it. They will heal as they know they are meant to.

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